Q&A - How Do I Show Affection To My Dog?

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About The Episode

For this Q&A minisode, John Bartlett talks about the ways that you can show love to your dog that they will understand. Dogs crave appreciation and look to their owners as the leader of the pack. So how you act, and what you may be feeling towards them, can make them feel loved.  He talks about specific examples that can work including certain types of touch, talk, play, and the act of being emotionally present.  

Episode Transcript

In today’s mini episode, we’re looking at the question, “How do I show affection to my dogs in ways they’ll understand?”

We may like hugs, but dogs can often not be so fond of them. Some dogs can feel trapped or pinned down when you hug them. Another act that works on humans but not on dogs is kissing. A quick kiss on the head may be taken as an act of dominance. Dogs crave appreciation and look to their owners as the leader of the pack. So how you act, and what you may be feeling towards them, can make them feel loved.  

Welcome to the Dog Save the People, a podcast about how dogs make our lives better. I’m your host, John Bartlett. This episode continues our Question & Answer series, where we take listener questions. My answers are based on my own personal experience and research, as well as our previous guest experts. If you have a question you’d like answered on the show, reach out to us at dogsavethepeople.com, where you can email us directly or connect to us on social media.

There’s a saying that goes, “A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.” So how can we show our dogs that we love them back?

The first way we can show our dogs love is through touch. Belly rubs, back massages and ear rubs are ways we can let our dogs know we love them. Touching your dog releases the love hormone oxytocin in you AND your dog. So consider a grooming session or a long petting session.

Ear rubs are especially wonderful for dogs. Dogs’ ears are full of nerve endings that send impulses throughout their bodies. And these impulses trigger endorphins, which also create the feelings of happiness and love in your dog. I think that it calms them, and is something they keep coming back for more.

Another way: Talk to your dog. Tell him or her that you love them. Yes, this may be done in a high pitched baby talk way - as many people do. Or, you can just say it normally. Either way, it’s good to do it repeatedly.

Studies show that dogs can understand human speech, and even about 165 words. So you could tell them about your day, or about something that’s on your mind. And you might be surprised how perfectly empathetic their reaction can be.  

So I talk to my dogs all the time and when we get up in the morning we have certain greetings that we have and then even while we’re walking, while we’re walking outside I’ll talk to them. And then at night, I’ll talk to them and tell them how much I love them. And really throughout the day. I always wonder what they’re hearing or understanding. I love when their head is cocked to one side like they’re trying to understand me.

You can also play with your dog. Dogs are descended from pack animals, and they still display pack behaviors, like playing hard and then resting together. 

Carve out time to spend with your dog outside of the house – like playing fetch, roughhousing together or going for long walks – and then also doing things back at home, like cuddling on the couch. This can make your dog feel like he’s part of your family.  

Did you know that dogs can read our facial expressions? Research has shown that dogs can even recognize emotions in humans. Being emotionally present is a signal to dogs of your affection.  

Do you ever notice your dog lovingly staring at you? They are literally hugging you with their eyes. So hug them back by making eye contact!

And project your feelings of gratitude at them and they will recognize your appreciation. 

When I come home to my apartment after being out for a while, my dogs of course run up and jump on me, and they all have different ways of wiggling their tails, licking me. And it’s interesting to me because they really are looking into my eyes. It’s not like they’re just looking towards my face, they’re looking into my eyes. And when I look into the eyes of my dogs, I really see this incredible depth. I really see this incredible universe and mind and soul that’s living within them, and it really is a wonderful way to connect.

About The Host - John Bartlett

John Bartlett is an NYC-based fashion designer who has a passion for dogs and always has a home of loving animals. Currently, he is the proud owner of two rescues and a purebred Bernese Mountain Dog. John is a graduate of Harvard University and the Fashion Institute of Technology (FIT). He created his own eponymous “John Bartlett” Men’s Fashion collection in 1991, and later created a specialty line of dog-themed apparel and accessories with all profits supporting his “Tiny Tim Rescue Fund” (named after his three-legged rescue dog of the same name). Bartlett has long championed the issues of animal rights and welfare. He has worked alongside the Humane Society of the United States, the North Shore Animal League, and other animal rights organizations helping to raise awareness and spread the message of compassion.

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